I wanted to write to you rather than speak on the phone, as I am a lot better at expressing myself through written word.
I want to sincerely thank you SO much for being there for me. In hindsight, I am really quite in awe that you reached out to me so much - a complete stranger. Well, sort of in awe, but more in gratitude.
The day after I first spoke to you, when you did that healing, it was amazing. The sensation of being separate from my egoic self was so strong and felt so amazing. But I think it was after the last time I spoke with you that I fully understood what you were saying. Which seems crazy because I have read SO many books, had SO many conversations, felt like I knew what I was talking about. I thought that I got it. Maybe I had on some level, but not like this. I feel like a switch has been flicked.
This week has been so ... so different ... and yet not different at all. It is such a subtle shift .. almost like nothing has happened. Yet everything has changed.
I am so much more aware of how my mind is working. I fully understand the idea of surrendering to life. It is quite a crazy feeling to know that everything is ok. No matter what happens ... no matter how "hard" it gets. Everything is ok. It always was and it always will be.
I am discovering how powerful I am when I let myself be present. I catch myself making up stories about situations (I mentioned to you that I often had very high anxiety in social situations) ... but that just doesn't seem to be part of me anymore. I have caught myself a couple of times, and just let myself be still and know that I don't need to "do" anything.
I feel more like myself than I have ever felt before. Like I said, it is so bizarre because it is such a small, subtle thing, and yet is the hugest thing ever.
I am particularly grateful that you stressed to me that I need to learn to help myself. Last weekend I started feeling sad that I didn't have enough money to pay all these people I seem to be meeting at the moment to do their various types of healing on me. Then suddenly I heard what you said to me ... and almost laughed out loud as I realised that it was my potato saying that I needed other people to make me whole and to get rid of it. I totally don't. I get that now. That was probably the most freeing moment I have ever felt.
Anyway ... how can I thank you enough for helping me the way you did. You are an amazing person with an amazing gift, such a generous soul.
Wishing you so much love & light in your life ... I hope what you have given me comes back to you in masses.